(trigger warning)
yes, the word trembles out of my mouth as his hand clasps my shoulders, trails his fingers down my back.
he asks if i can keep a secret, i scream in silence, my body a frozen lake, tidal waves and riptides raging beneath my rigid face.
yes became a weakness, a surrender of my needs, the mute button of my inner dialogue.
with every yes i said, i lowered the frequency of my instinct, turned my gut docile, submissive.
invasive ideas implanted in my mind without permission, my opinions victims to whoever spoke the loudest.
my desires buried underneath the needs of others, my vision clouded by what my mother thinks is best for me
until i learned the subtle strength
that came with my first no
Soul on Fire 
One reply on “consensual”
fucking hell